6 ways to reconnect with your body after Endometriosis Surgery or A Trauma to your Body
Teach me your ways…
Post surgery was a difficult time for me. Especially the first two weeks. I felt like I needed a longer recovery time than what was recommended or what I read from people online. I felt like it was a trauma to my body and having experienced sexual trauma for years growing up, It was comparable but different. An experience I have not had before and that would require connecting back within.
Pre surgery, I felt really intune with my body. Post surgery, I felt out of it. I tried to quickly wean off of pain medications, which I think makes the first initial leap into connecting back with your body.
Embrace and let yourself submerge into the mess, but only for a short time
The first few days I just needed to be. I let go of the pressures, allowed myself to lay and rest, even escape my feelings by watching netflix and sleeping. Allowed myself to shoulder on pain meds. Post surgery bodies are in full recovery and healing mode, so this is absolutely necessary.
Post op is a time to fully release expectations, pressures, and be gentle with yourself. There is no need to feel shame or guilt for needing to stay in bed and rest. If you have children, I applaud you. My twin sister was in this boat and I saw her exhaustion and struggle during her recovery. I wished I could be there for her. (There is an ocean between us now). Learning from her, I hope you can try to prepare ahead of time and create additional support around post op, especially the first two weeks at minimum.
After those few days, I knew I needed to try and reconnect with my body. I didn’t like that I was escaping, dissociating, feeling drained emotionally, physically and mentally without doing anything but lay in bed all day. But it was necessary to try and reconnect as soon as possible to not erase all of the hard work I have done the past several years to heal from my sexual trauma or allow my body to retract to my autopilot response systems of escape, when trauma and stress arises. These are the moments where the practice to heal and change our conditioning matters, now, and in the long run.
A few things I found helpful to reconnect post op.
1. Bubble baths.
Let the bubbles and water immerse your skin. Move around slowly, like your dancing in the water. Feel the warmth, the water trickles down your body, the bubbles take up space on your skin, watch the heat rise from the tub. Every now and then take legs out of the tub, feel the cold, allow for the goosebumps. Then submerge your legs again, feel the warm, the sensations. Make your first bath post op super special. Light some candles, prepare a warm drink: my favorite is a chamomile tea and have some snacks. And soak baby soak. Feel the pruny hands and feet, allow for your body to take in all of the water energy.
2. Lotion.
Massage your body, legs, fingers, your own feet. I needed to feel my hands on my body to reconnect. I’d do this throughout the day before I was allowed to shower (stitches). After baths I’d lather in lotion. (p.s. I’m actually not a fan of lotion on my body, I hate the feeling, but It was necessary here and It helped.)
3. Mobility work w/ Lacrosse ball.
I would use these on my back - leaning against a wall (since stomach/abs are weak from lapro surgery). I’d use them on my feet while standing. Find the tension, hold, and let yourself feel the release.
4. Dancing and listening to music.
The first few weeks were slow, gentle, ease. Then grew back into dancing with no limitations. Play your favorite songs and dance babe-E!
5. Breathwork.
Honestly, I’ve not dug into this as much as I would like. It’s something I actually want to focus more on because the most common breathwork technique I do is boxed breathing (4-4-4-4) and sometimes it actually sends me into panic. So it’s hit and miss for me but I want to learn more and get better because the best sensations are the ones where you take a full conscious breath and feel all the yummy body sensations and full aliveness. Would love any recommendations, connect with me! :)
Breathe in through your nose for 4 secs, slowly. Hold for 4 seconds. Release for 4 secs and repeat 4 times.
6. Affirmations.
I’d say affirmations out loud, write some down and review when feeling blue. Here are a few I wrote throughout this endo surgery journey, take what you need.
I will speak up for myself and not feel small, I am worthy of help too
I find peace knowing this is the right step for me
This procedure will help bring answers and relief
I let myself surrender to surgery so I can find healing
I know the space between now and the end of my recovery will provide strength and healing
I immerse in rest so my body can heal
With gratitude I release the held breath, I feel change is happening now
With feeling scared, she is brave
The magic is in the knowing I’m on the right path
Relief is coming
I am letting myself rest so that my body and mind can heal
My inner child is safe, I am safe, we are safe
Things you might need to hear right now:
You are safe
You are allowed to rest
You deserve to do what feels like rest and comfort for you
You are allowed to create strict boundaries around your recovery and even life after
You deserve answers to your pain just like anyone else
Pain is not your fate
The why
Sometimes when going through a trauma, we can often feel disconnected from our bodies and unaware of the tension that lies within. With being a sexual abuse and rape survivor, connecting with my body once I realized fully it was mine and not a mans, body work evolved into my recovery and overall healing journey.
As a child unbeknownst to what I was doing at the time, I enjoyed baths and doing dishes for this very reason. It was a chance to immerse my skin in the healing abilities of a body of water. This has continued to be a mindful practice of mine that has evolved over time.
When we consciously choose to heal our trauma, within our mind and body, we heal our soul, the people around us and the lives we touch. We’re set free and we’re helping others feel that too.
And while that may feel uncomfortable at first, since you may have felt everything that is the opposite of free for so long, it is necessary to push through the discomfort, lean into the resistance, meeting it with trust and compassion that you will show up for you. That you will reach inward to comfort the younger versions of you. You no longer need to hold on to the story that you deserve or should stay disconnected from yourself because it’s what you’ve been conditioned to do. You hold the power to breakthrough autopilot responses, rewire your brain with more and more conscious decisions to shatter old narratives and beliefs to heal and thrive. You get to choose to no longer abandon you. You deserve to feel connected wholeheartedly, live fully, and feel free.
If you have stumbled upon this post, you are most likely are a trauma survivor or currently suffering from endo or a surgery where you need to reconnect to your body. I hope you find this blog post helpful and I would love to hear if you have any other recommendations. Connect with me! I’m also on Instagram. I am here for you!
With love,